Sleep, who needs sleep?

Hi out there. All of you reading with young children, or children at all probably can understand my frustration. Ciana was sleeping like a little angel up until a few weeks ago and now even her daytime naps are a struggle. Everywhere I read I see the importance of routine and this stands to reason but what if your baby doesn't know this? What if she doesn't know that she's supposed to nap after being up for 2-3 hours, and go to bed at the same time every night? What if she disagrees with the idea that babies her age don't need to be getting up every few hours during the night? I'm not even looking for advice anymore. I have read that babies should lead the way and parents should sit back and follow, I've read that tough love is the only way to go otherwise you will be sharing your bed with a teenager. I've heard that moving a child to solids will keep them fuller through the night but also that breastfeeding until they are at least a year old is the best. I try to give Ciana a bottle before bed (formula takes longer to digest), changing her into pajamas, and putting her down at the same time every night and yet I am still awoken at 2 am, then sometimes again at 4 am. She seems to be getting the requesite 14 hrs sleep per every 24 hr period but without any consistency. She relies on food, preferably breastfeeding, to go to sleep 95% of the time which I am also told is bad because she is unable to put herself back to sleep without outside help. Our doctor asked if I was back at work, I laughed, who would want me as an employee (as I glance down through my crooked glasses at my sweats, bare feet, not to mention my mussy hair). I really am enjoying being a mommy and now I know why every woman I have run into in the last 4 1/2 months has asked me how she sleeps!! Just wish us luck and grab a few zzz's for me!